Right now, I am trying to get back into my groove. For now, this means running the same route, same mileage, several days in a row. Boring yes…but it has its little surprises.
Friday I ran this same little 3 mile route. It was hot ( duh…Florida after 8 AM…no surprise there), I was whiny ( again no surprise), and it took a lot to even manage those 3 miles with a run/walk method.
Monday I ran the same route. Again, it was hot ( it had rained just prior to my run, and I swear there was steam in the air), I was whiny, and I had to run some and walk some more. This run was harder than my Friday run and I was feeling discouraged. I was a few minutes slower, and more than a few notches crankier. As I said…discouraged and NOT looking forward to running today, on tired legs even.
Well I showed up today and it was still hot…but there was a blessed breeze! The sky was overcast and I took that as a good sign. I faithfully set out to run my tired legs on this same route, expecting to walk ALOT. I was surprised to feel pretty darned good right from the start. I ran a mile and walked just a bit, planning to walk some at every mile marker like I had done for the two previous runs. I started running again….and didn’t stop until I ended my run at 3.1 miles. I just didn’t need to walk anymore…surprise!:)
Now don’t get me wrong, the run wasn’t all sunshine and roses. It was hot, sweaty, and I was puffing like a freight train. It WAS however, easier than the two runs before. Same distance, same run, but somehow, even on tired legs, this run was just slightly easier. Happy dance!
So here is what I haven’t said . God has made me a runner. I don’t know how or why. He hasn’t given me binding speed, or endurance…I am slow and steady. He has given me the desire and the will to run…and even to find enjoyment there. I need to run..it is where I feel at peace and where I hear His voice.
I have been praying that He would heal my foot issues…doing all the right things, taking a rest break, etc…planning to start running again when I was better and feeling fine again. That hasn’t happened. My foot still hurts every day…I hobble, especially in the mornings and evenings. With that said, I am still being called to lace up and run. My foot hurts exactly the same whether I am running or not, so I have decided to run. I need to find that peace again…need to run.
I am at a point where I just show up and run. I don’t know what God has planned for me this season. I don’t know if I will be able to run the half marathons that I have planned or if I will need to cut my mileage back. All I know is that I am being called to faithfully step out. It takes a different kind of faith to step out when situations aren’t ideal…when those plans that you have haven’t panned out, or things are scary and unknown. Stepping out and committing to running when I am not 100% is a new journey for me, but I am being called to move. I am trying to take my expectations and plans out of the mix and just go with God’s plan…and it is harder than I expected to do so.
So each day will be a new adventure, whether it is running the same old mileage or not. I will try to just show up…with tired legs or tired soul, and simply look for the surprises and encouragement along the way. Here’s to one week in and looking towards the next!