This little light of mine…

So its been a long time no post kind of deal…I know.  Life has gotten busy, but fear not, I am still running…just not as much.  I’m managing 2-3 days a week and an average of 10-17 miles total.  That’s not really much compared to this time last year, but as I said, life and all that has gotten busy.

I am ramping up for a VERY busy half marathon season.  I have almost one half marathon a month between now and February.  While that IS a lot of races…it certainly isn’t the pressure that I felt from full on marathon training.  I kept a few base miles in the bank after the marathon in May, so it hasn’t been the uphill climb that it was in the past to start from ground zero.  In addition, I have put  less pressure on myself for at least the first race or two of the half-marathon season.  I have eased up on my push to PR.  I would LOVE to finally squeak close to a 2 hour half marathon…but I have plenty of races to get there.  I have decided to give myself a bit of a training ramp and grace to start off gently…its a new thing for me lol. We’ll see how this kinder gentler approach pans out!

But I digress.  What I really wanted to talk about is my all time favorite running weather…FOG.  I LOVE love love running on a foggy morning!  In contrast, I  HATE running in the dark.  You may think at first that they are one and the same, but I beg to differ! Running in the dark is scary.  I feel like an extra on a horror film set…just waiting to hear chainsaws revving up in the distance.  I jump and skitter at every last little noise.  I feel like the very pavement is out to get me.  Seriously, I would rather run in the heat than in the dark…and you know how much I hate the heat!

Running on a foggy morning though…it has a kind of magic to it.  There is this small little bubble of light that surrounds you.  Somehow, you can see clearly right around and in front of you, but just a few feet into the distance the world  drops away into soft, white nothing. It is quiet and calm.  As you move forward into the soft, fuzzy abyss…your little bubble of clarity follows you.  The ‘future’ steps seem unclear, but become perfectly clear as you approach.  The steps immediately in the past are shrouded, as are the ones directly in the future…but your present steps are perfectly safe and clear.

Now those of you who know me well would probably think that foggy uncertainty would drive me batty…I am uh a BIT of a control freak.  I am constantly thinking 12 steps head of myself.  In fact, I sometimes miss the everyday joys because I am already worrying about tomorrow and the next day, and the next.  But that is the magic of those rare foggy mornings.  I have absolutely NO choice but to forget about the path behind or the one ahead, and just simply be in the present.  No worries, simply one foot in front of the other with the certainty that my little bubble of clarity will keep up.

I love to think about how running so easily translates to life and our Christian walk.  Psalm 119:105 says “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path”.  Funny how it doesn’t say ” a searchlight, flood light, or something more illuminating.  Nope…lamp unto my feet and light unto my path.  I take that to mean…just enough light so that you will not falter or stumble…but not enough to show you the whole path.  I think its a lovely metaphor for ‘running in the fog’…God telling us that we don’t need to see it all, or even understand…we simply need to trust that He will illuminate each footfall as we need it.  That He will be our little bubble of clarity, to get us to our destination. No flood light or visibility needed, aside from those few steps immediately in front of us.

It is a promise that He will be sufficient for each and every step.  We need not be concerned with what lies down the trail, or even behind us.  We simply need to trust that He is with us and will give us just enough light for the next steps.  There is no need to worry about 12 steps down the road, because they aren’t even visible.

In my life at least, I think God occasionally rolls in the fog to ease my worry burden.  He uses the fog of uncertainty to help remind me to let go and to trust.  He knows that sometimes I need to simply be blinded to all the worry and what ifs up ahead, and simply run in my ‘trust bubble’.

I happen to be ‘running’ in that kind of situation right now.  There are some really big things ahead for me.  Some of those things are really huge and scary and some are exciting…but if I focus on all that is ahead right now, I’ll get so worked up that I will miss the forest for the trees. I will get paralyzed by possibilities and choices that won’t even come my way for days, weeks, or months if at all.

So for now at least, the blessed fog has rolled in.  God has it all in control and I am trying very hard not to outrun my little clarity bubble.  I know that the future path is shrouded, but God is taking me somewhere important, and that each step will be sufficiently , abundantly clear.

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2 thoughts on “This little light of mine…

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